Dark
Now Playing: Everything You Want- Vertical Horizon

Yes, but another work from yours truly. One from my heart to yours, but more from my heart to the world. Pay it little attention, much attention, or even no attention whatsoever. That is up to you. Welcome to a small piece of my life...noth that its somewhere you want to be.
Yours,
Cougar 

The tears fell like rain from her gray eyes. The wonderful happiness from the few hours earlier was long gone. She felt almost as she had the night she'd lost one she had considered a friend. it had occured to her that the last time she had felt that happy it had gone wrong. As her mind continued on the subject she realized that she would never be truly happy. She would just have to pick someone she wasn't happy with and accept the inevitability of being unhappy. Vertical Horizon really knew what they were talking about when they said, "He's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time and he means nothing to you and you don't know why." Basically, he's perfect but you don't love him. Contrary to popular belief thats not okay. if someone is perfect for you and he likes you then it doesn't matter who you like, things will go to hell if you odn't just deal with it and date him. however, one must remember that this goes both ways. Males, unfortunatley have the ultimate control. If a girl likes them it doesn't matter, they will go with whomever the like. Vertical Horizon also said this best. "I am everything you want, I am everything you need, I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things, at exactly the right times, but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why." Its occured to me that yes it is true, I am unable to find someone I can be happy with, I am not one of the chosen lucky few. Though that chnce seemed to be within reach it was quickly pulled out of reach by an ouside party. yes, I am well aware that I"ve slipped out of my previous style. She sighed, the lihts far too bright for her sensitive eyes at the moment. She ran a hand under her eyes to clear the excess moisture and eyeliner. She stumbled through the snow in the field in which she had been kneeling in the middle of. She wasn't physically tired but emotionally at her limit. She slid into the sleek black sports car and started the powerful engine. It wasn't long before the heat kicked on and she slowly became warm, ceasing her shivering. Once she was warm and the tears and shivering stopped she looked in the rear-view mirror and reapplied eyeliner without paying much attention. She put the car in gear smoothly and began rolling. When she reached the end of the road she came to a stop, looking both ways on the deserted road. When she began letting off the clutch to pull onto the road she caught a glimpse of her own eyes. The tears had changed the soft gray to ice-blue, clear and cold, encircled with black darker than the night sky, reflecting the way she felt deep in her heart.

Another work from an ice-cold, blue heart -
Yours,
Cougar

After the Storm
Now Playing: Baba O'Riley
Topic: Opener

{a/n: its occured to me that I am slacking in the "listening to" and "mood" departments. Oops, sorry. Seeing as a lot of that is important to the effect of the story, I'll try to step up. I will mention that I need to be more detailed on my written accounts because its getting really hard to figure out what was written on what date, among other things.}

No one could wipe the grin off her face as the black car hurtled down the road, blending in with the night except for the blazing catty headlights. She bit her bottom lip cutely still grinning. Her body grooved to the music, moving sinuously. When she finally returned to her own home everything was still dark, thankfully. Once in the door she finished her text and pulled her boots off. She gathered her things from the counter and took them to her room where she set them on the floor at the foot of her bed. She then changed into shorts and a tank-top to sleep in, wriggling out of the tight jeans. She went down the stairs to brush her teeth, nearly skipping. On the way back up she kicked up her heels and giggled. She returned to her room and slid her knees under the covers on her bed, grabbing a reeses and her notebook and pencil. As she settled down to write, she smiled. At this rate, she would never get to sleep.
yours,
Cougar

Jealous
Now Playing: NCIS
She played with her hairtie and was deep in thought. Firstly, she had to type up previous writings at some point soon and title them. She hated the pencis she was using, the kind that had to be sharpened. Her mechanical pencil had run out of lead earlier so she was stuck using htis one. She thought about her current posessive streak toward people. She thought about how much fun it would be if they all hung out but even as she knew and wanted that she couldn't get oer being jealous. the work they had to do was irritating. She just wanted to sit and write her thoughts down. She was tired, for sme reason. Perhaps after practice she would sleep before hitting the streets. She almost wrote her class notes on the wrong sheet. She hoped the notes were over quickly so she could nap during homework time. At least the pain from the morning was almost gone. She sighed inwardly. She needed to quit being so jealous, she didn't own her friends...acquantinces? hopefully the notes were over...they were. She closed her notebook and put her head on the desk...nap time.
yours,
Cougar

Rough Around the Edges
Now Playing: NCIS

She was cold. The t-shirt she wore underneath the zipped-up coat wasn't much protection from the lightly-heated building. She was tired, and had to spend all day with her friend, when she wanted a moment alone to check her email for pictures. Earlier in her engish class, her construcive criticism, which they were supposed to listen to, had been immediately shot down with what she thought was baseless. She put her hood up during that class to ward off the cold. She had minimal comment thouh the rest of the defenses because she didn't feel the need to be mocked. Her emotions were always low when she was slightly cold for a long period of time with now way to get warm.
yours,
Cougar

A picture is worth a thousand words...
Now Playing: NCIS

She opened the email and smiled. The first pictures was cute, he looked relaxed. As she scrolled down, her smile remained. "Wow," she commented to herself, "you need a haircut, boy." She scrolled down further and her jaw dropped. The "white boy" was a hot white boy! His face was cute but add that to the rest of him and wow! She was a little surprised. She hadn't been expecting that. Her day was pretty much made now. She shook her head and grinned. Hot damn he was sexy. All through her next class she couldn't keep the grin off her face. Those pictures were on her mind unceasingly. Perhaps he had been correct in some comments. She couldn't wait for the class to end so she could leave. She fully planned on going straight home and openin the pictures again, though blown up so she could see more detail.
yours-
Cougar

Short
Now Playing: News

{A/N: I continue the author's note from the previous entry about typos to this one.}

She was in pain. She didn't deal well with pain. Not only was she in pain, she was cold. The cold made her tense, increasing the severity of the pain. It was bearable, just a stabbing ache. She needed to find him, see if he could do as she asked and perhaps be able to fix her. The pain exhausted what little energy she had. The lack of movement irritated her, she wanted to be free to moe. A breath calmed her slightly, she looked for something to distract her. A conersation came up, distracting her for only a moment. If it continued much longer she would start to freak out a bit. She tried to ignore it but was having no such luck. The dull ache penetrated deep into the joint, tricking her mind into thinking nothing could be done. She sighed and pulled out her homework.

A day in the life...

{A/N: please excuse any typos in the two most recent and try to read over them, I am currently typing off a written sheet and I'm a bit chilly so I'm typing quickly. Therefore, I'm not watching for typos.}

She wasn't really sure whether she wanted to grin or be calm. Her car was going in to the shop in a few days, and she could be a badass when it was fixed. She had also been having fun at lunch when she acquired the email address of a cute boy. Not only was he cute but he was a good conversation. He seemed to be very mature for his age, and seemed genuinely interested in her and her life while she had an interest in him and his life. While she currently had no attachment to him, she really enjoyed the subjects they discussed and hoped to meet him in the near future. it was unfortunate that a streak of tiredness always hit her in the class she had directly after lunch hour because it was her hardest class. It tended t mak more work if she didn't pay attention due to fatigue. She had been animated at lunch but the spark seemed to have worn off. Her head dipped to rest on the desk and she decided to start on the homework so she didn't have to do it later. Besides, she needed the time later to come up with a brilliant thesis. Randomly, she stealthily grabbed a mini-resses's out of her bag. There were only a few left and she finished them off, handing one to her friend. The chocolate pick-me-up took effect in a few moments and she worked on her homework a little quicker. She was able to finish about half before the bell banished her from that class and on to the next. She was highly amused for the most part of the next hour.

Phenomenal
Now Playing: She will be loved - Maroon 5
She walked around with a grin on her face all day. While her first class hadn't been amazing, her second class had been great. They had a guest lecturer who was phenomenally funny. He'd done several amusing things throughout the class, and even caught her gently pulling her friend's curly hair. She'd left that class feeling bouyant and animated. Her third class of the day was slower-paced and not as much fun, but it was good discussion. The conversation she had with the professor after class made up for any lack of spirit that had occured during the class. They hadn't even been discussing the class topic, which made the conversation amusing. The professor gave her an excuse for the first twenty minutes of her next class stating they had been discussing the current material. When she arried, she found they were working quitely on the homework they wer assigned for the day. She finished the assignment with little trouble and quickly, leaving time to talk to her friend in that class. On her way to her apartment for lunch she had the windows down and the music up. She was very tempted after she pulled in the driveway to skip doing the homework she had left for doing a little playing with her car. She sighed and went inside to grabe something to eat. As she waited for the microwave to do its job she booted up her computer and pulled out the book she needed for her homework. Her computer was immensly slow and she rebooted it after getting annoyed by the slowness. Her attention returned to her homework as the computer started and logged online. She connected a flash drive and began up loading a file to her onine host. The file was only half uploaded and she was chatting and laughing on the phone when she realized she needed to get back on campus for her next class. Leaving the computer on and uploading she slide her shoes on. She took advantage of an opportunity to tease her friend on the phone when she started the engine of her sleek black sports car. Upon reaching the school she hung up her phone and hurried inside. She put her bag down and went out into the hall for a drink.

Whipped
Now Playing: Whip Your Ass - WC ft. Nelly

Hello -
You said you enjoyed talking to me. You phrased things as though you were worried about me when I told you about my car accident. You smiled when I hugged you. And yet even now after you insisted we were friends, you, all you, I refused to name what interaction we had a friendship, I knew as much as you insisted it would still all go away. Unfortunately, I was right. Or perhaps fortunately. This shows me where your loyalties lie, and what you have for those you call friends. I'm sure there is a difference between those you call friends and those you actually consider friends. Unfortunately I was not important enough to make the latter group and had to suffer through being cut loose as part of the former group. This will be my last thought and pencil on the subject as after this I will erase what I have left of the past. This is the last I will have proof of any interaction with you. Why it is that I do not crumple and tear this up the moment I finish I am not quite sure but while my heart wishes to believe you will realize your mistake my head says this is to humiliate you and show the rest of the world how you let one person run your life and drop people carelessly as you seee fit...or as one sees fit. To let the one who runs your life attack me as such, so unnecessarily, so violently, and with you knowing there is no cause, was inexcusable. Society has a word for this, and it is whipped. If you so choose to be whipped such as this, I want no part and am glad for being cut such as this.
Left behind,
Miss Alara Stealth

Long Weekend
Mood:  down
Topic: Opener
She was tired and the cold was beginning to get to her. Even inside it was colder than necessary and the short-sleeved shirt she was wearing wasn't enough. Even though she knew this and was cold she was unwilling to bear the pain to get up and walk up the stairs to get a sweatshirt. Her instant messenger status was very clear and she wanted someone to notice without her saying a word. She knew it wouldn't happen though, and wasn't quite sure why she set herself up to be disappointed each and every time. She hadn't gotten much sleep over the weekend and her energy was long since gone. Every time she closed her eyes sleep threatened to overtake her. She wasn't sure if the unfamiliar music from the speakers was causing the headache or not. When she was in this mood she was always quiet, very quiet. The presence and demands of the other female irritated her easily. It occured to her as she switched the track that the disc had played all the way through. The music was new, not something she had burned but she found it interesting to listen to. Even as she wrote her thoughts were disorganized, she knew she needed to finish her homework and go to sleep but she knew the homework wouldn't get done even though she'd had three days to do it. The depressive state she was in deepened slowly, she took a deep breath. The light glared over her and she broke out of her reverie to realize she needed to move. With an effort to ignore the pain it caused her, she stood and walked away.